Are you a person finding it hard to trust others because of past experiences such as friendships, your childhood and unmet expectations? I was a person who once isolated myself from people because I didn’t want to be bothered with any hurt or disappointments, however this hindered my growth- both spiritually and mentally. Today, I feel that along with my straightened relationship with Christ, He has provided me with friends that has helped me grow, friends that I can trust and and friends who encourage me. I am able to trust Him more and rely on Him instead of trying to do things on my own strength. Be blessed by this video! Love you all!
Naturally, I am a over-thinker .
“When will it happen?”,” What do I have to get done?”, “Why isn’t it done?” are just some of the questions I constantly ask myself…Especially the below!
I am currently in this season of desperate renewal of the mind to overcome this. My overthinking has caused me to be anxious, mentally drained and unproductive. Plain and simple overthinking kills productivity. It has an effect on your spirit, emotions, your will power, your creativity and most importantly, you can’t live and enjoy the present moment.
Just like I stated in my #2016Goals video, all we really have is NOW.
I don’t know if any of you follow me on Snapchat (@soulstylebeauty), but back in January for a week I was able to get up early, work out, meditate on Gods word and cook a healthy breakfast. Although I completely fell off, this strengthened my will power because who wants to get up at 6 in the morning! I felt a change in my body and spirit, because I spent time with God and also spent time doing something for myself. It felt damn good!
How crazy is it to wake up and throw yourself into this world, your crazy work environment, and conversations with people if you didn’t take time to feed your spirit, body and mind?
Therefore, I am once again challenging myself to another morning routine. Here is what I will be doing to make sure my mind body and spirit is taken care of before I step into this crazy world:
- Take time to write things down!
Take time to write down any and everything in your mind! It can be your daily goals, how you feel, who’s on your mind, e.t.c. This is a way to not only better direct your morning prayer , but also to release whatever that is on your mind.
- Quiet your Mind
As a natural over-thinker this doesn’t come easy, but I have slowly but surely been getting better at this. Quieting your mind consist of focusing on just the present moment. Not thinking about anything, but being present wherever you are at the time.
- Spend time with God (Pray & Meditate on his word)
This is soooo important. Recently, I’ve been spending time with God later on in the evening, but I feel that I need to start doing that at the very start of my day. Reading a devotional, a scripture, or a chapter helps you grasp the character of God and remind you of who you are in him. Prayer is also important because simply put, it’s powerful. It changes things, it’s a time to cast anything down, and show thanks to God.
A 10-15 minute full body workout don’t hurt nobody! I think stretching in the morning is so freeing. One app that I really enjoy using is called SworkIt. I always worry about doing an exercise wrong, so this app allows you to put in the time you want to work out, what type of exercise you want to do and shows a real life human demonstrating the moves! #WINNING
- Eat/Grab a healthy breakfast
I never skip breakfast, but I never eat at home! I think that eating at home along with everything I listed above, will give you so much energy. The first time I did this challenge (and fell off), I ate sautéed Kale and 2 boiled eggs every morning. I may try to do that again, or look up more healthy breakfast ideas on Pinterest.
Stay beautiful #SSB!
Happy New Year loves!
I know it’s definitely time for an update on my blog. Truthfully, I have been kind of overwhelmed, but very well (I know that’s confusing, but praying that you feel me after reading this post haha)!
I am extremely grateful for where I am in life. I have a job which allows me to pay my bills and also found a hobby I love, which allows me to express myself creatively- YouTube! I am content with everything and although that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, I am walking with God who supplies me with his grace every day. However, lately, I have been in deep thought after realizing that I am almost at 5K on my YouTube channel. It’s honestly a blessing. I genuinely enjoy doing videos and I find it so cool that I have can actually look back on my growth. On the flip side, it’s scary!
When I do videos, I put out my feelings, where I am in my life and may talk about struggles I’ve overcame at that moment. Basically, I share personal information about me! But, what if I change for a season/for a moment? Will I be criticized when I open up more? That thought has literally been running through my mind this week.
I feel that some may categorize me as this “holier than thou Christian girl”, however I am not perfect. On my blog/YouTube channel I may talk about tips that helped me in a certain season, but then I may end up struggling again. I make mistakes on a day to day. I sin on a day to day basis just like every child of God and that is not an excuse to do what I want, but I say that to say no one is perfect.
As my supporters increase, I want to start showing a bit more of ME! However, will I still have a strong support system as I open up my life more and more as I get comfortable? Will people pray for me when something I do doesn’t “sit well with them” or will they criticize me? It’s honestly a scary thing and at this point I have to break free from that.
I am a Christian, who loves makeup, talks about life and fashion. I struggle like you all do, I watch different TV shows (not only sermons), I listen to different genres of music (not only Gospel), I go to different places when I hang out (not only church) and I can go on and on. God loves me as much as he loves you and there is room for all of us at the cross ! As I open up my life more and more, I don’t want to be categorized as just a holier than thou Christian girl. Yes, I will glorify God and continue to share what has been put on my heart to share, but I want to be raw and real as well. Being Christian isn’t a walk in the park. It’s just not me throwing out bible verses. It’s not me just “showing you how much of a Christian I am”, but you being able to see the God I serve in me through my actions regardless of what season I may be in.
This year I declare to be intentionally me. Shamelessly me! I pray that you all will continue to support me as I transition to opening up more. Continue to pray for me throughout all seasons, as I will be doing the same for you. Stay prayerful, dream big and work hard for your dreams this year!
Love you all so much!
Happy September 22nd! Yet, another hiatus, but I hope you guys love me enough to stay with me (*hug*)!
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon Downtown Brooklyn as I was strolling to one of my favorite Thai places for a “me-time” lunch and I remember my older sister asking me over the phone “How do you show people you love them?.”
I honestly had no idea how to answer that because I never deeply thought about it.
As a younger child, “I love you” was told to me, it was shown to me by action and certainly I said “I love” a lot of things including family, friends, food and candy (lol). You know, the surface definition. This word love is constantly thrown around so much that it’s meaning becomes so diluted, meaningless and can be said without knowing and having an intimate relationship with that specific thing or person. Honestly, it wasn’t until I discovered Christ love for me that I realized what the definition of real love was.
If you watched my YouTube video “#FAITH I My Walk With GOD” you would know that I initially struggled with realizing God’s love. I don’t know if you can relate, but being new in your “Christian Walk”,it usually takes that one special intimate experience where God proved to YOU that he cares. He proved to me that he truly loves me and I can now say his love never fails! Even when I fail him, he proves to me that he cares.
For example, after I’ve gotten saved, I threw myself in a relationship. Once again, I found myself in a position that I was longing to fill that empty void. This person served a different God (he was Muslim), but I was convinced that he will be converted. He never took me out on a date, but was convinced that it would get better. I wanted to stay in that relationship! I had that plan, but God laughed and had another.
I was not at peace in that relationship.
God used people to speak to me during that time about unequally yoked relationships, my Pastor specifically gave a sermon on that topic specifically one Sunday, and friends told me “Emari, you need to get out of that.”. I had ZERO peace. *Side note*- God truly uses ANYTHING/ANYONE. He does give signs, indeed!
One day I finally ended it and it felt like a whole weight was lifted. If that’s not love, I don’t know what to call it! Patience was shown. Protection was shown. Most importantly, after I ended it, he kept no record of my wrongs. Although God has shown me love, I often find myself receiving it rather than giving it.
Looking at the verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Looking at this verse, I was always taught to replace the word love and replace it with your name. Do you exemplify these things? I was extremely convicted recently about this
I want to challenge us all to self-examine ourselves. Are we truly loving people? Sometimes, receiving it can be easier than giving it. I will be keeping a journal of at least one thing I do to serve another person a day. It’s always good to take the focus off of us sometimes
“We love because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
“Males have stronger bonds than females”.
I honestly believed that until I started experiencing life and people through different lenses . Boy, was I glad to trade in the old pair!
Thus far, this year has been a year of complete transformation. Of course, this transformation goodness wasn’t the work of my own, but I give all the glory to God! It seems like he has been guiding me to meet some of the most beautiful souls who have such an impact on my life (just another prayer answered!).The Certified 10 workshop was yet another positive thing to add to this years list of fresh new experiences!
Before I get into everything, Certified 10 is a movement started by Yetti of lifestyle blog YettiSays.com. This movement caters to mental health, self value and women empowerment.
It was the morning of the Certified 10 #Back2Basics brunch and I had no idea what was going to happen. From the title “Emptying The Closet”, all I knew was that we were about to talk about some raw real-ness! I was completely open minded and ready to rid myself of the unnecessary mental baggage. I got up, made sure the makeup was on FLEEK (you guys know I love a good face lol), and threw on a simple black midi dress. I grabbed my camera and was out the door!
Once I reached the city and after 5 minutes of looking for the event venue on the wrong block (I am so known for that haha), I arrived. The venue was gorgeous! Every couple of minutes, a brown skin beauty came walking in. Little did I know, the girls walking into this venue that were once complete strangers would become women that share some of the same struggles that I face. I was completely comfortable being in the room with such amazing woman! Tears were shed, laughter and joy filled our hearts as we rejoiced in sharing the struggles we’ve overcame and some that we’re still are battling. I thought to myself, “Oh, this is what Certified 10 is about”!
One of the activities was to draw out a moment or insecurity from the back of our mental closets. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to draw (my issue was all the way in the back of the closet), but once I did I couldn’t even fully draw it out. I thought I forgave and rid myself of the bitterness, but once I rest the red crayon on the white sheet paper, I had to draw “it” in the simplest form to spare myself the break down. Once we were all done, we all hung these moments and insecurities on hangers and they were all rolled away to represent the release of our unnecessary mental baggage. This was a wonderful exercise and may I just add, God is certainly still helping me in that certain situation.
So no , the statement of “males have stronger bonds than females” is no longer a fact in my head. It’s nothing more satisfying than meeting a confident, encouraging, selfless women who values herself and those around her! I have been meeting plenty lately, including the woman that I’ve met at this event. If you haven’’t met one, maybe you can be that women!
Until next time!
The underlying root to everything that we do have to do with faith and trust. This is true whether you’re a believer in Christ or not.
For every dream and passion we have, we hope to reach our personal success point. Whether it’s pointing individuals to the cross, an artist who wants to be great in all forms of art or even being a teacher who wants to succeed in increasing a child’s education, we have trust and faith.
Trust in faith in what though?
Back when I started my blog in 2009, I used to be a big advocate for self help books. We live in a society that truly emphasizes self. Love yourself, trust yourself, help yourself and protect yourself. You hear it all the time! When I first started my blog, this stuck with me. I was truly about self. So much about me, my goals and I that I said later to even lending a helping hand to some individuals! Crazy, right?
Not only did I decide to write about this because what I learned by being this way, but because I saw a disturbing YouTube video earlier this month. I watched an individual rant for about 20 minutes about a friend “stealing her dream and purpose”. I thought to myself “Is this a such thing?”. Can individuals share same gift and be used in different ways? Absolutely!
When we have so much trust and love in only self, this leaves room for fear. Fear that there will be no opportunities left if we help someone else out. Fear that someone will become more successful than us. A lot of fear overtakes you. The great cause of that is too much trust and love for self.
Looking back now and seeing who I am becoming with Christ in me,when it comes to my dreams and walking in Gods will I realize that only having trust in me isn’t going to work. I need someone greater in me. I need God. I know that when I am walking in Gods will for my life, nothing can take what God has for me. You lose that great sense of fear!
There is no shortage of opportunities. Let’s stop acting like the opportunity river will run dry. We can all be something. Let’s serve one another! If we don’t I guarantee that we’ll meet all the people we’ve discouraged on the way DOWN as they’re on their way UP! Let’s keep God as the center of everything we do and trust his agenda, not our own. Be encouraged to encourage!
Lately, I been feeling extremely distracted. Maybe it’s because I’m growing older and recognizing that time is crucial. Who you spend it with and what you do with it is very important. After all, throughout time those experiences start to absorb in you and eventually affects your mood, behavior, and most importantly your thoughts! Almost 24 years of age, I can honestly say that I somewhat know what I want and need in life, but sometimes distractions lead me off the right track.
One day, it came to me. I was spending entirely too much time with things that distracted me. I thought to myself, “Really? I can be doing things that are more beneficial spirituality, physically and mentally!“. Shortly after this thought came to me, Heather Lindsey- uploaded a video “Distractions: The Fight To Be Disciplined“. Well, let’s just say that she definitely spoke about some of my distractions!
*Insert Side Eye Emoji*.
Don’t you LOVE when you are put on the spot during a sermon or conversation? That person speaks of exactly what you’re doing wrong and you feel the conviction even more! #NOSHADE haha!
Truth is, I just want to reach my full potential in life spirituality and mentally. I believe we all can, but distractions can pull us away from that. You may want to spend time with god, but your distracted with social media and/or television. You may have to get things done around your apartment, but every time a friend calls asking you to go out you say “yes” with no hesitation .
This post was not written with the intentions of saying you can live a life free from distractions, but to rather acknowledge them and set boundaries! A life without boundaries or discipline will make you all types of crazy! For example, one of my distractions is social media. Whether Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, we can spend lots of time looking at the lives of other individuals not knowing that the combined time we spend on it in a day can be a total of hours! Now I monitor my time on those networks and truly learned to tell myself “alright, that’s enough!”.
I encourage you to analyze what you do with time. Like I stated in the beginning, time is valuable. You can spend your whole life fully engaged in things distracting you from your purpose. We must learn to set boundaries and to simply say “no” .
Until next time,
Isn’t it crazy that eyebrows are “IN”?
As you all notice, the trend of defining eyebrows by eyebrow pencils and gels has taken over the beauty world! I love doing this as well, but I prefer my brows to still have that “natural look”…obviously it’s not natural haha!
Some of my very close friends ask me what products I use for my eyebrows from time to time and I love to share! I absolutely love cosmetics and sharing what works for me. Today, I filmed an eyebrow tutorial to share how I get my eyebrows”ON FLEEK” (lol). I hope that you enjoy this very detailed eyebrow tutorial!
-Anastasia Dip Brow Pomade (Chocolate)
-MAC 266 Angled Brush
-LA GIRL Concealer in Fawn
-Elf Duo Eyebrow Brush
“You have the most beautiful hair in the world” said a women on a NYC subway to a complete stranger. As the other individual takes out her earphones, she responded along with a smile so bright that you can tell it was that very compliment that brightened up her soul as she said “Thank you” .
That conversation I overheard made me think about character. Where did it go?
That was a conversation I overheard on a NYC subway recently. Yep, New York City! Besides, that girl did have one of thee best Bantu knot outs that I’ve ever saw! If you don’t know what that is, here is a photo reference.
I’ve been living in New York City all my life and never realized our culture as individuals. You get up to often ride public transportation packed with strangers like sardines. No one utters a word. Some individuals look too tired to even speak….and others, well let’s say that there in “their own world”. This city is in a rush. A rush to go….somewhere. Whether it would be publicly or in the professional world, EVERYONE has somewhere to go. It’s no longer about your character, but in this city you become “what you do”. That strong drive can cause us to lose ourselves and forget our character, which in fact matter’s most.
Imagine a world that stripped you from all materialistic things- job titles, salaries, name brands, e.t.c- all “artificial highs/things that makes us whole”. What would you be? Most importantly, who would you be? Will you still feel like you mean something to the world or most crucial- to the people ?
We as individuals need a change.
As I grow older, I constantly think “Is this what it’s all about?”. As I continue to grow , I am growing closer and closer to God and along that journey I am learning to die to self. I don’t do much talking about me. I hate to tell people the company I work for and what I do because the “oohs and ahhs” begin. Not because of the company, but until I say what I do, individuals seem uninterested. It’s quite sad! I can’t imagine me making it to where I am now without the glory and grace of God. Yes, encouragement helps, however even when I felt discouraged and like my work wasn’t enough, I always made it through. This cannot be my own effort.
I wanted to write this post to (1) vent haha and (2) remind you all that it’s always nice to be “someone”, but it’s also nice to treat people with respect and kindness. The Bible states “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32). Smile often to complete strangers. Be curious as to how one feels. Personally, this is something I am working on. I try everyday to smile more or even ask people how they’re doing. Just remember, what people show you is just the surface. Just because an individual smiles doesn’t mean he/she is happy. Dig deeper and don’t lose yourself on titles, salaries, and status. Besides, materialism doesn’t last.
Isn’t it about that time? Often times we start a plan for renewal only for the New Year and lose that great sense of ambition after that. We tell ourselves “This year, I will finally go to the gym”, “This year I will build a relationship with Jesus” (…which I highly encourage #NOSHADE lol), or even “This year I will become a better me”. Somehow that motivation is lost and we find ourselves in the same place. Where did that motivation come from and most importantly how can we find it again?
Year after year, I remember setting goals to achieve so many things! Trust me, just like you that motivation was lost until I discovered tips and tricks to help me. But today I am telling you, that you can get it back at this very moment like I did!
This year on my YouTube Channel, I decided to make a visual mood board for my goals. Just to name a few, my goals were to become a mentor for the Big Brothers Big Sister Organization, build a relationship with God, and work harder on my career goals. Today, I am in the process of becoming a mentor –went through training and all (#YAY!) . I can say my relationship with God is getting better and better day by day. Lastly for career goals, I recently had my first #MUA experience and working hard on inspirational content for SoulStyleBeauty!
So how do I stay motivated, you may ask? I don’t have any kind of special DNA, I have 24 hours in a day and if you’re reading this, I know we are already way more alike than you think! So just like me, you can reach your goals!
Let go of distractions– Let’s face it. We are both young and like to hang out with friends, but that can be a total distraction when you are trying to reach your goals. Time is one of thee most crucial things. You can waste it or use it wisely! I take ME TIME every weekend. This definitely sacrifices my time with friends, but if your friends truly love you they will understand! Friends aren’t the only things that can distract you, but television (Oh yes, that good ol’ ratchet tv lol) and social media are distractions as well. Don’t over do it!
Stay Prayerful- God has your back! Ask him to keep you focused on your purpose and your dreams. Spirituality is also a part of building a business or brand. I know I want god to be a part of anything that I do! I encourage you guys to pray, pray and pray some more!
No Coveting or Envy Please!- No coveting (worrying about the thing you want that another individual already has) or envy (what you feel towards someone when he has something that you want) please! Life is a journey. Not you and another individual’s journey. When it comes to what you want to achieve, focus on your progression. Envy and coveting will not only slow down or stop your motivation, but it can make you a nasty competitive person. Worry about your progression ladies!
Stay Grateful for ALL Accomplishments- Whether big or small, be grateful. If you can’t be grateful for what you have, how will you ever reach satisfaction? When tracking, be grateful for every milestone! This is crucial!
Practice #SHAMELESS Promotion- It is so hard for me sometimes to tell people about my YouTube or Blog, but it truly can help you gain an audience. Regardless if we’re doing it for fun or to speak life into people, we want an audience, correct? Be real! Tell your friends, your cousins, your mom- EVERYONE! These individuals become your biggest support team and keep you motivated.
So, without further ado- Get up and go after what you want!