Happy New Year loves!
I know it’s definitely time for an update on my blog. Truthfully, I have been kind of overwhelmed, but very well (I know that’s confusing, but praying that you feel me after reading this post haha)!
I am extremely grateful for where I am in life. I have a job which allows me to pay my bills and also found a hobby I love, which allows me to express myself creatively- YouTube! I am content with everything and although that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, I am walking with God who supplies me with his grace every day. However, lately, I have been in deep thought after realizing that I am almost at 5K on my YouTube channel. It’s honestly a blessing. I genuinely enjoy doing videos and I find it so cool that I have can actually look back on my growth. On the flip side, it’s scary!
When I do videos, I put out my feelings, where I am in my life and may talk about struggles I’ve overcame at that moment. Basically, I share personal information about me! But, what if I change for a season/for a moment? Will I be criticized when I open up more? That thought has literally been running through my mind this week.
I feel that some may categorize me as this “holier than thou Christian girl”, however I am not perfect. On my blog/YouTube channel I may talk about tips that helped me in a certain season, but then I may end up struggling again. I make mistakes on a day to day. I sin on a day to day basis just like every child of God and that is not an excuse to do what I want, but I say that to say no one is perfect.
As my supporters increase, I want to start showing a bit more of ME! However, will I still have a strong support system as I open up my life more and more as I get comfortable? Will people pray for me when something I do doesn’t “sit well with them” or will they criticize me? It’s honestly a scary thing and at this point I have to break free from that.
I am a Christian, who loves makeup, talks about life and fashion. I struggle like you all do, I watch different TV shows (not only sermons), I listen to different genres of music (not only Gospel), I go to different places when I hang out (not only church) and I can go on and on. God loves me as much as he loves you and there is room for all of us at the cross ! As I open up my life more and more, I don’t want to be categorized as just a holier than thou Christian girl. Yes, I will glorify God and continue to share what has been put on my heart to share, but I want to be raw and real as well. Being Christian isn’t a walk in the park. It’s just not me throwing out bible verses. It’s not me just “showing you how much of a Christian I am”, but you being able to see the God I serve in me through my actions regardless of what season I may be in.
This year I declare to be intentionally me. Shamelessly me! I pray that you all will continue to support me as I transition to opening up more. Continue to pray for me throughout all seasons, as I will be doing the same for you. Stay prayerful, dream big and work hard for your dreams this year!
Love you all so much!