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Soul Style Beauty

A Brooklyn girl living a life full of faith with a dash of Style & Beauty

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25.- Quarter Life Lessons

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As I wind down from weekend festivities celebrating my 25th birthday, I realize how content and blessed I am with life.

A year ago , let alone a month ago, I was in a totally different season in my life. I have grown tremendously and God gets all the glory! I truly look back at all the pain, downfalls and disappointments. It’s those very things that contributed to my growth today! I have learned so much and would like to share 25 of my Quarter Life Lessons with you all!

1)Realize your value and identity in Christ, before society decides for you!– I can truly say that I realized my worth and identity in what Gods words says this past year. It’s one thing to hear it and it’s one thing to actually believe it in your heart…and live by it! Once you grasp that, you will truly start living!

2) Know who God REALLY is.- I can go through countless twitter statuses, blogs, podcast, e,t,c and learn about God. However, there is nothing like knowing and learning who God is through His word. Don’t take “facts” about God from what others say, but go through the word in order to learn and experience God for yourself.

3) There is joy in the simple things.

4) You can’t do life on your own!– Life is HARD. It isn’t something that was designed for us to do on our own. I quickly realized that my own isolation at times actually hindered my growth. Surround yourself with people that inspire you to grow, challenge you and speak the truth always. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when necessary.

5) Be selfless.– I believe that selflessness is not only for romantic relationships, but also for friendships. It is important to learn to put yourself aside in certain situations when necessary. It’s not always about you, but it’s what can I do to serve other individuals? How can I be there for that person?

6) Save, Save, SAVE!

7) Expectations are just a no-no.– Leave room for God to work. I have recently realized that you have to somewhat be adventurous as a Christian. Nothing happens in the timing you want, but it happens in Gods perfect timing. Having major expectations can disappoint you. Instead, let your requests be made known unto God (Phillipians 4:6) and have faith that he is moving before His plan unfolds.

8) Relationships take effort– As I’ve gotten older, I look at some of the strongest relationships I have. Both the individual and I truly invest in each other. Somedays, you may have to carry the full weight of 100 and other time 50/50, but that is what keeps the friendship on fire.

9) Learn to be committed.– Commitment is so crucial. I used to be an individual that hopped around in my career life because I had bad days or my co-workers were terrible. It was horrible self-discipline because you won’t like everything in life and you can’t live by your feelings. Learn to stay committed regardless of the circumstance (unless it’s crazy horrible…thats a different story)

10)Responding vs. Reacting- When something/someone gets you upset, analyze how you feel and then respond. I have made MAJOR mistakes reacting without thinking about it. Think first, analyze if it’s true and then move forward

11) Be a good steward of your time.– Time is crucial. It’s really up to us to manage it in a way that is more efficient.

12) Seek the council of others– Proverbs 11:14 states “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety”. Make sure you are seeking council when necessary. Please keep in mind that councilors should be great leaders that can guide you spiritually and offer advice because they’ve been there. Friends aren’t councilors.

13) FACTS over FEELINGS– What we thinking isn’t always necessarily true. Don’t live by your unstable feelings! Truly analyze what you feel before accepting it as a fact.

14) Meal prepping saves so much money.

15) PREPARE before it happens- Prepare even before “it” happens. The worst thing that can happen is arriving at a place in life you haven’t prepared for. Do as much preparation as you can…especially prepare spiritually.

16) Looks won’t raise future generations to come– I learned a long time ago that a persons looks won’t raise a child. It won’t stabilize and build a strong foundation. Don’t enter into a relationship JUST because of how a individual looks physically! It won’t last.

17) In relationships long history isn’t equivalent to great quality– Know that all relationships aren’t meant to last. As humans, majority of us are always developing. You may not be able to keep some of the past friendships you have had because you’ve change. That is okay. Accept it!

18)Pride is a no-no– Know when you are being prideful! Proverbs 16:18 states “Too much pride will destroy you”. Stay humble in all that you do, knowing the Lord provides ALL THINGS.

19) Everything doesn’t deserve a response.

20) You can’t change people!– I used to think it was my responsibility to change people. The truth is all we can do as individuals is pray. Don’t try to be God. Cast it down to Him and he will handle it.

21) Your circumstance is not your destiny– Praise God that our circumstance is never our destiny. God already gave us the victory. Know that no matter how bad it may seem, there will be beauty in process.

22) Patience is a virtue– Patience is so hard sometimes! I still struggle with this at time. Just know that waiting strengthens your faith. Trust that God is already moving in your life and the situations you’ve told Him about.

23) Don’t fight conviction/correction– God corrects us because He loves us. Imagine if we didn’t receive any correction? Imagine if we were never convicted? I would have to question my salvation. Don’t fight it. Ask God to do a work in the areas of your life that are weak.

24) Overthinking kills productivity- When you overthink, you are spending more time thinking rather than taking action. You get nothing done. Overthinking can produce fear and doubt. When you start to over think, ask God to renew your mind at that very moment. Ask Him to increase your faith and solely focus on HIM.

25) God is the one and only true source of all things.

 

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Comments

  1. Renee Hartwig says

    October 25, 2016 at 10:26 am

    Hi Emari, Thanks for this great post. I feel like you have done a lot of soul searching and have come to some great conclusions. I am a christian too and am just starting (what I can guess) a long journey towards recovery and truly finding my real potential and light that God has lit inside me. Some of your points are spot on and really speak to me.

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Emari
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29. Brooklyn
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One word for how you’re feeling today. Get ready One word for how you’re feeling today. Get ready, go! All emotions accepted lol.

For me, I’m feeling... blah 😂. Not super duper amazing, but not horrible. Maybe I need a nap 💤  bc #napscureeverything .
Growth... Some notes from yesterday’s #SOULfle Growth... 

Some notes from yesterday’s #SOULflection ✨

One thing about growth is that it’s never linear. I have moments when I go two steps forward and one step back. When I feel stagnant, I like to self-reflect and invite God into that convo. 

- Am I being teachable?
- Am I open to wisdom?
- Am I hearing from God?
- Am I willing to do the work or am I being lazy?

All these things can stunt your growth- mentally, spiritually and physically. Cheers to doing the work and keeping God at the forefront. 

🤎 Happy Wednesday 
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“All we get is time and choices. Be wise with bo “All we get is time and choices.
Be wise with both.”

Dress: @shopetaluxe (Black Owned)
Boots: @justfabonline 

#blackownedbusiness #blackownedclothing #blackgirlswhoblog #justfab #ootd #winterfashion #fashionstyle #blackgirls #stylegoals #lookoftheday #bootseason #blackbloggersclub
After yesterday, I know we needed to decompress, m After yesterday, I know we needed to decompress, maybe a mental health day and to be encouraged.
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I have no words for what happened yesterday, but I pray we don’t get distracted. Despite all of this, small change is still happening. I hope it encourages us as a people to unite and continue building. 
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🤎 to you on this Thursday.
#Soulflections is a series on my YouTube channel ( #Soulflections is a series on my YouTube channel (every Monday) to basically discuss topics deeper than face value. I share some of my journey and it creates dialogue on topics like faith, self love, development and growth. I’ve touched on topics such as combatting negative thoughts, codependency within relationships and I just posted 6 Lessons I’ve learned in 2020 (link in bio).
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One lesson that I’ve learned in 2020 is that change is inevitable. Knowing that this pandemic came outta nowhere and my wedding wasn’t as planned, it helped me to utilize and practice my resilience muscle. It helped me to make lemonade out of lemons.
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What’s one thing that you learned in 2020?
Happy New Year 🎉: I really don’t have many r Happy New Year 🎉:

I really don’t have many resolutions, but to continue growing and developing new habits that will serve me and others. 
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I’ve  realized that there’s no difference between someone who “has more”. Just the habits in terms of time, money and choices is what makes a hell of a difference. So with God AND DISCIPLINE,
I know this year will be everything I need.
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Looking forward to creating more, being intentional about the space I’m building and staying authentic to Me (me against me). Thank you all for supporting my platform and the encouragement you give me. It’s never goes unnoticed. ❤️
Back in NY safely, thank God and y’all gon get t Back in NY safely, thank God and y’all gon get these vacay photos 😂! 🌴 Cabo was truly everything 👏🏾 and 👏🏾 more! Bae and I stayed at @hotelmarquisloscabos .

All Inclusive ✔️
Adults only ✔️
Food & Drinks on point ✔️
Amazing Staff✔️
Spacious & beautifully decorated rooms ✔️
Breath taking views ✔️

Covid safety precautions were also on point. Guest had to walk through sanitizer booths. Tables were cleaned before we sat down. Hand sanitizer was given to all guest at every restaurant entrance. They had scannable touch-less menus. Waiters wore a mask at all times. I also went in with my Lysol wipes to clean surfaces around the room. The hotel was not booked at full capacity so social distancing was easy. I felt safer there than in NY...honestly.

This was one of thee best resort experiences I’ve had. I definitely recommend booking a stay here.  Can’t wait to come back! I will miss being spoiled here by the staff...they really know how to make guest feel special.

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May we travel the world together more often ❤️ May we travel the world together more often ❤️... The adventures we’ll take one day 🌎🤞🏾
Enjoying paradise 🌴. I deserve. ✨ This year t Enjoying paradise 🌴. I deserve. ✨ This year tried me, but I feel so good ending it like this.
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