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Soul Style Beauty

A Brooklyn girl living a life full of faith with a dash of Style & Beauty

Lifestyle

#RANDOMS 001: Unlearning, Breaking The Cycle & Relationships.

I know, title…it’s a lot!

If you know me, I’m an overthinking, self-analyzing, reflective being! I am that person that randomly starts analyzing a topic out loud, will follow up with some questions and BOOM, it’s a serious convo lol. I joke, but I love convos of substance. It has always been me.

I’ve been itching to write a blog post about a bunch of random thoughts. So here it is…I’m going to call these post #RANDOMS (seriously).

Unlearning & Breaking The Cycle:

I’m turning 27 next month and all I can think about are all the things I’ve unlearned and still unlearning up until this day from my past. I’m not saying I grew up in the most horrible household. There’s always good and bad. Truth is, whatever those habits are that you grew up learning, you start to become of aware as you self-reflect. It may be a spending problem. You may have watched your parents spend money recklessly and now you have picked up the habit. It may be that you came from a household where everything was privatized. It may be hard with you to connect on a deeper level with individuals. Whatever it is, I want to encourage you today. It is possible for you to break the cycle and unlearn those things.

The more I think about my habits, I thank God that I am saved! I am thankful for the rest and sense of peace that God gives me despite all the challenges I face daily with bad habits. If you’re reading this and can resonate, girl you are not alone! As a Christian, I won’t say that it’s unicorns and rainbows daily. Breaking horrible past habitual habits are extremely hard and hurtful. Unconsciously, you have learned things and now it’s your responsibility to be receptive and available in order to change.

Thankfully we have tons of resources.

As I sat on my couch listening to a podcast called Brown Ambition, I was so thankful to hear information in regards to finances. Y’all, it was great information FOR FREE thanks to social media! There are tons of podcast, blog post, events, e.t.c to attend to attain information and gain a sense of community. Above all resources, anchor yourself to The Lord and His word. Allow yourself to turn your bad habits into prayers. He hears and sees.

Relationships: Does society promote Sisterhood?:

I thought to myself this week, “Does society promote Sisterhood?“.

In my opinion, not at all.

Instead of promoting what it takes- intentionality, transparency and walking through different seasons with someone, I believe society promotes the total opposite when it comes to friendships. Post filled with selfishness of who should be cut off fill my timeline daily. It’s something that I believe a lot of us aren’t aware of what it entails. I had a ton of falling out with people and asked God to truly show me what a friendship takes. It’s a ton of work and it’s even harder as an adult.

I am not writing this in a tone of me being a great friend. I am not, however it’s a constant prayer to God to help me to see my selfishness and to care for other people. Its truly the sin in us that causes division. It all comes down to the posture of your heart. It’s not about sacrifice because that can look different to others, but obedience. God commands us to love our neighbor.

Let’s get into what it takes.

Intentionality

Effort is required from both people within a friendship. In order for it to work it must be effort from both sides. Granted it may be times and seasons when one must respect the other persons life. It may be a season of transition or great change that may cause a slight temperature change within the relationship, but we’ll talk about that soon. However, it definitely takes two.

Transparency

Transparency is a must for intimate relationships.Both individuals should be comfortable stating expectations and bringing forth areas in need of change. I always say, its so unfair to hold people to standards they aren’t aware of. Conflict is also unavoidable in relationships. There are times when one may be offended, but those things must be discussed. If they aren’t, it causes division and separation. You have to be able to discuss issues.

Walking Through Seasons.

Life is a series of change. People grow older, get married, move, switch jobs, e.t.c.  Navigating through life with that person may be tricky during those times. It may just change the temperature a bit, but it makes the relationship stronger. You’ll get over the hump with effort, but don’t let the temperature change cause separation.

This is what it takes.

I do feel that it effect us women in a way. Society promotes romantic relationships, but constantly promotes division in sisterhood. Everyone knows romantic relationships require intentionality, transparency and walking through different seasons. I believe that we as women are sometimes quick to go hard for that romantic relationship, yet neglect our friendships which then leads to a codependent romantic relationship. I’ve been there and it’s the most unhealthy thing to be in. Your man cannot be your only friend. I just want this to be a heart check for all of us.

Are we really giving our friendships our all? If not, what can we do to change it?

Thanks for reading!

Emari

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May 10, 2018

« #SELFCARE, That May Mean A No and A Sacrifice, & That’s Fine!
Where God guides, He provides. »

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Emari
Blogger/YouTuber
30. Brooklyn
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”Where we talk about life, style and beauty starting from the inside out."

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Yesterday’s sermon touched me. The words “you Yesterday’s sermon touched me. The words “you don’t need a plan b for your faith” convicted me to the core. We all heard the verse “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. The person that I am is someone very controlling who needs to know everything. Uncertainty gives me anxiety. That is just an indication of my faith not being where it needs to be. My faith is constantly tested and I can tell it’s in need of some strengthening. I constantly have to check myself on if I have more faith in myself, my plans, solely my works, and my spiritual health rather than God. 

If that’s you, let’s make May a month of strengthening our faith. Faith isn’t uncertainty, it’s certain. It’s believing in who He is and believe that He is who he says He is. It doesn’t have to make sense and you don’t have to see it happen to believe it will. No plans necessary, according to your faith… YOUR FAITH be it unto you. 

PERIODT, happy May.
Vegas Photo Dump Vegas was meh. I think that we w Vegas Photo Dump

Vegas was meh. I think that we would’ve had way more fun during the weekend vs. the weekdays so we gotta go back. No beach clubs were open and no performances 😩. That’s definitely more my speed. The weather wasn’t great either, but had to quickly remember that we needed this quality time. Hubby and I just moved, so sometimes you can operate more as business partners in marriage because you’re on go mode. Grateful to have spent some time away and together. 🤎

I did enjoy:
@venetianvegas 
Had me thinking I was in a different country 😆 
@cosmopolitan_lv 
@bellagio_hotel 
@sugarcanerawbarandgrill
@hexxlasvegas 
@nachodaddylv 
@pampaslasvegas 

If you’ve been to Vegas, let me know what your recommendations are for the next trip.
Okay, so I think I definitely need more Orange in Okay, so I think I definitely need more Orange in my wardrobe 🧡🍊.
🤎 🤎
This is us 🤎. Excited to see what God has in s This is us 🤎.

Excited to see what God has in store for us. New heights in regards to partnership, goals and individual growth. Let’s continue to do the work AND keep Him first.
Happy New Year! 🎊🎆 We all know that 2021 wa Happy New Year! 🎊🎆 
We all know that 2021 was crazy, but there’s always something to be grateful for.

-Starting therapy. Therapy is one of the best investments that I made this year. My therapist has and still is helping me in so many ways- as a wife, individually and professionally. Looking forward to more growth and healing.

-Celebrating myself- I had my first birthday party as an adult. I usually celebrate, but I don’t really like the whole “throw a party” thing. The attention gives me anxiety 😝. I did it and my friends and I had a blast.

-Letting go of limitations- There is nothing you can’t learn. Reading more and learning new things is something you can control. “There’s truly no amount of good vibes to come and save you. You gotta make the right choices”. Being apologetic about letting go of limits and making the right choices to help me spiritually, financially, mentally and physically. This will for sure continue this year!!!

Good health, joy and happiness to you all in this new year! 🎊
Only 4 days until Christmas and 1 day til the New Only 4 days until Christmas and 1 day til the New Year! To say that this year flew by would be an understatement right? It’s been a crazy year indeed, but thankfully God has been faithful. Even still.

Outfit Details:
Houndstooth Coat- @dressdesiree 
Boots: @shodazzle
The switch up 🤎. On another note, the natural The switch up 🤎. 

On another note, the natural beat has been my thing lately.

Products: 
Brows: 
@thekatvond Super Pomade in shade Walnut 70

Base:
@sephora Best Skin Ever Foundation in shade 57Y
@fentybeauty Concealer in shade 385
@patmcgrathreal Paradise Venus Blush
@mented Skin Foundation Stick in D40 for Contouring 

Lip: 
@nyxcosmetics Espresso Lip Liner
@maccosmetics Lipstick in shade Toast and Butter. (they need to bring this back asap!)
#SelfCareSunday Girl, it’s Sunday and you know #SelfCareSunday 
Girl, it’s Sunday and you know I’m trying to get my life before the week starts 😆. That also means physically, spiritually and mentally. Here’s a reminder as we go into the work week.

Intrusive thoughts aren’t the ultimate truth 💭. 

So before you work yourself up over something that isn’t your reality:
1. Stop, pause
2. Ask, is this the truth? Do I have any evidence of this?
3. Speak over yourself. Affirm the ultimate truth.

#notetoself #mindyourhealth 🤎
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